


Here We Are

by Ultra



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Ending, Awkward Conversations, Bus, Developing Relationship, F/M, Family, Fights, Friendship/Love, Homesickness, Romance, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 13:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Begins with an alt-scene in 2x21 Lorelai's Graduation Day and continues (in AU fashion) through to 2x22 I Can't Get Started.</p><p>Jess is amazed that Rory cares enough to show up in New York. Is he willing to admit he cares as much for her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty new to Gilmore Girls. Never watched it when it aired, just found the dvds recently and decided to give it a try. I'm half way through Season 3 now (and I love it!) but shortly after completing the Season 2 boxset, I got this one-shot idea. It came out a little different to what I intended (been playing with the present tense) and I think it might need adding to yet, but I figured I'd just post this for now and see if it got any reaction...

It wasn’t supposed to go like this.

When Jess left Stars Hollow it was for good, he was so sure of that. Hurting Rory, however inadvertently, it was the worst thing he could’ve done, the very worst thing. Running from that was wrong, he was all aware of that, but it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Luke didn’t really want him around, the town at large already thought he was the devil’s spawn, and now he had hurt everybody’s favourite girl, his favourite girl.

Jess left Stars Hollow and thought he could forget, but that wasn’t how these things worked. He missed Luke, and the diner, and the whole stupid picture perfect town. More than all of that, he missed Rory. Calling her out of the blue was stupid, epicly stupid. He actually had this idea that maybe she’d be so happy to hear from him, that she’d beg him to come back or something. Fat chance when she still had Lurch hanging around like a little lost puppy. It was one of the more ridiculous parts in the whole ‘Jess calling Rory’ incident. Worse was hanging up without really saying what was on his mind.

When she showed up in New York, Jess was genuinely stunned. It wasn’t just her being there to see him, though that was a huge deal. Rory had skipped school. That was crazy, like wife in the attic type crazy, but without the hysterics. She was awfully calm for a good girl gone bad, but that didn’t matter. She was right there with him, and Jess was not about to question it.

They spent the day together. Jess is fully aware that he’s turning into a sappy greetings card when they stand at the bus station and he realises this had been one of the best days of his life. In fact, if it isn’t number one on the list then he isn’t sure what would be. He won’t say it, because it just wasn’t him, but he thinks Rory knows, somehow.

Never was a girl so proud to be asked directions. It makes Jess smile, perhaps too much, because right now is not a moment to be happy. Here they are at the bus, her transport back home. Rory belongs in Stars Hollow and history has proved in short order that Jess definitely doesn’t, and yet...

Then she is on the bus, and Jess is fighting with the two voices in his head. The oft-ignored angel tells him to just let her go, back to where she belongs and who she belongs with, but the devil pokes his fork in Jess’ other shoulder too hard to be brushed off. He wants to know, he needs to know, and if he doesn’t ask now...

Forever is a very long time.

“Why’d you come here?” he asks - the closed window takes the question away.

When Rory opens it up and asks him to repeat, he almost doesn’t bother, almost chooses once again to run away and say it’s for her own good, but this time he’s come too far. She looks taken aback by the question, like he just asked her to explain the meaning of life in ten words or less. Maybe what he wants to know is really just as hard for her to say. Maybe.

“You never said goodbye,” she admits, and something deflates inside of Jess.

She wanted a goodbye, that was all. It’s what she came here for, all that she wanted, at least that’s what her mouth says. In her eyes Jess swears he sees something else, something she was even more afraid of than cutting class and riding the bus to an unfamiliar city.

“Goodbye, Rory,” he tells her, the words she asked him for and yet she seems to flinch at the sound.

“Bye, Jess,” she replies, with the faintest hint of a smile, and that’s that.

Jess turns to stroll away, hands in his pocket, the deed done. Rory wanted closure, or so she said, but he has to know it wasn’t what she meant. He hopes he’s right, especially when his feet take him up the steps, his hand going out to the rail and giving him momentum enough to get onto the bus with ease.

Rory is still looking out of the window when he gets to her seat and the empty space beside her that just seems to be waiting for him. Jess wonders if she was trying to see where he had gone as he walked away and the irony would be amusing in any other moment.

“This seat taken?” he asks, smirking a little as she turns sharply to meet his eyes.

“Jess, what are you...?” she tries to ask, but he just dropps down into the seat beside her, hands still in his pockets, his usual air of nonchalance in place, even as his heart hammers in his chest. “This bus is about to leave!” Rory insists in desperate tones. “I’m going back to Stars Hollow, you can’t just... You can’t be on here!”

“Why not?” he shrugs like it’s nothing, but his gaze is so intense as he stares at her.

Rory loses her words then. Jess liked knowing he could do that to her, the girl renowned for her essays and speeches, who has read more books in her seventeen years than many people would manage in a life time. She was so very smart and he alone could render her speechless with a look. That had to mean something. Her coming here had to count for something.

“I’m going home,” she tells him, as if he didn’t know. “This bus is going home, and you don’t have any bags or a plan, and what will Luke say when you just show up?” she asks all in a rush, receiving no more answer than an amused smirk. “I’m serious, Jess, you can’t just do this!”

“Yes, I can,” he tells her easily. “Look, I travel light, it’s no big deal, and I’m kinda done with this place right now.”

“Yes, okay,” Rory nods along, but her frown remains. “But still, you wouldn’t be on a bus if I hadn’t come here, right? I mean, why would you want to follow me home like this?” she asks finally, completely at a loss apparently, though there’s this hopeful note in her voice that Jess couldn’t miss if he wanted to.

When he asked why she came here, he was looking for a confession that he didn’t expect to get. Now the situation was reversed and he suddenly understands her awkward answer. Admitting what you’re feeling to someone who holds your heart, it is terrifying, but Jess knows it’s too late to back out now. He never cared for anyone like he cared for Rory, and he knows it’s way too soon for the L word, but there just isn’t another he could conjure up to fit what she caused in him.

He could brush it off as nothing, call her on being big-headed and expecting her to be his reason for everything. Maybe she was, but that isn’t a confession he really wants to make either. Laughing at her sudden panic after trying to be this cool wannabe New Yorker might be fun, if the moment hadn’t gotten so stupidly serious. Jess takes a breath and finally speaks.

“You’re going home, maybe I am too,” he tells her straight, eyes on hers, so his meaning ought to be very clear, without him having to say what he truly feels right now.

She stares a moment, blinks a couple of times and then slowly nodds her head. A smile comes to Rory’s lips and she finally settles back in her seat beside him, looking comfortable, even content maybe.

“Good,” she sighs, as she turns her gaze to the window, leaning his way just a little more than maybe a girl with a boyfriend should.

Jess doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t need to.


	2. Chapter 2

They’re within a mile of Stars Hollow, so the sign says. Jess never felt so conflicted about going to a place in his whole life, but then he looks down at the head on his shoulder and smiles. It’ll be worth it, all the crap from Uncle Luke and the people in the crazy little town that had fast become home. Rory wanted him here, that ought to be enough for a guy like Jess. Truth be told, it really was.

It’s a good thing that Rory is sleeping, he considers. The freak out that had begun when the bus got delayed was not pretty. Jess was kind of proud at the way he got her to calm down, but still, he would’ve preferred her not to panic so much. He got it, of course he did. She was the good girl type most of the time, and being late home would let her mother know what she’d done today. Lorelai was a pretty cool mom, so Rory said, but Jess already knew very well that the woman did not like him at all. Much like with the car crash, Lorelai was bound to pile all the blame onto Jess himself, for encouraging Rory to ‘go bad’. This he had told his travelling companion when she began to worry.

“But that’s not fair!” she insisted. “I told them, I told all of them that the car crash was as much my fault as yours. This isn’t your fault either. I chose to cut class, I put myself on the bus, and I came here because... because I wanted to.”

The way she faltered over her reason made Jess’ heart skip a beat. She came to New York for him, only for him. For a goodbye, that’s what she said, but he wasn’t buying. Nobody acted that way just for the sake of a real farewell. She has to care about him, Jess is sure of it, even if Rory hasn’t exactly been forthcoming. He understands that too. If he were as honest as he should be, she’d be sure right now that he liked her too much too explain, enough that he hates Dean Forester, and wishes Rory would dump his ass already.

Sleeping Beauty stirs in her sleep and Jess holds his breath. He likes the way she’s curled up into his side right now, not worrying, not caring about anything. He smiles and dares to kiss the top of her head as she settles down again. Rory is so much more than a pretty face, and yet she is certainly that as well.

Jess knows it’s wrong, to let her cuddle up to him like this when she never would in a conscious state, at least not yet. His arm has gone dead, and his legs aren’t far behind. He’s been keeping so still for hours now just so Rory would stay as she was, comfortable and content. Her peace brings him his own, even as main street comes into view and he knows the dream is about to be shattered.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, hopping onto the bus, all confident swagger and nonchalance. Jess thought he was so smart when he sat down beside Rory and declared he was coming home with her. Now he realised what he really has to face, what she has to face.

“Rory,” he whispers softly near her ear, gently jostling her awake. “Hey, time to wake up, sweetheart.”

The affectionate term is out there before he’s hardly noticed, and Jess immediately wants to take it back. Not because he didn’t mean it but because she would only make a big deal if she heard.

He realises maybe he got away with it when she sits up sharply and stares straight ahead at the town appearing around them rather than at him. Jess looks on as Rory checks her watch and the panic returns to her face. She’s late, too late for Lorelai’s graduation that had meant so much to her. Somehow Jess had a feeling he was going to get the blame for that. As wrong as it would be, he’d happily do it, for Rory. Exactly what kind of sap is he turning into for this girl?

“Oh my God,” Rory gasps as she grabs up her bag and coat.

She knows her mom will be upset about the graduation thing, and doubly so when she realises the real reason why she’s so late home. Still, she finds a smile, even as she scrambles past Jess’ knees to escape the bus before it’s hardly stopped moving.

“Welcome home!” she tells him, and then she’s gone.

“Thanks,” he mutters, getting up from his seat but in no real hurry to get off and go to Luke’s place.

His uncle isn’t likely to be thrilled to have him back, Jess knows that, but he hopes at least in some small way he won’t hate the idea. By the time he left it had been Jess’ call. Uncle Luke probably wouldn’t have made him go actually. He seemed to understand, at least a little bit, how Jess really felt about Rory. They never spoke of it, but it was nice to think he kind of got it.

Just as soon as he is about to get off the bus, Jess stops. He realises Rory has left her mother’s gift behind, The Go-Go’s record, signed by Belinda Carlisle. Part of him wants to rush right after her, hand it over, be the hero that saved her special gift for Lorelai. The other part, where his common sense lives, tells him no. Right this very second, Rory is probably explaining herself, apologising like a Catholic at confession or something. Even as she tells her mother exactly what happened, Jess is sure Lorelai will be blaming him. For being a bad influence on her precious baby, that’d be it. It made Jess want to crack the record in two, but he wouldn’t, because Rory would only be upset.

Carrying the record under his arm he heads for the diner. At this late hour and in the dark, nobody will notice him. That worked for Jess. If he had to face Taylor or any other busybodies in this crazy town right now, he would not be responsible for his actions, or at the very least his words. Still, as he looks around at the simple stores and familiar sites of main street, he sighs. Jess meant what he said to Rory in New York - he really was coming home when he got on the bus back to Stars Hollow. It remained to be seen, of course, how popular his choice was with everybody else.

* * *

Rory is well aware that she’s rambling when oxygen becomes an issue, but she just can’t help herself. She needs to get all of this out, she needs her mother to understand, because then at least that would mean one of them had some insight. Rory never felt so out of her depth. She is so very sorry for letting her mom down, and so very confused about why she would even do what she did. Hopping on a bus to go see a guy that was distinctly not her boyfriend, cutting class and missing her mom’s graduation, it was crazy and insane. Rory was sure she must have had a seizure or something equally unlikely, because she had no other explanation she was okay with accepting right now.

“Okay, sweetie, please. You gotta breathe,” Lorelai tells her, reaching to grasp Rory’s hands in hers, if only to stop the crazy windmill arms. “Breathe for me and just think about this for a second,” she urges her. “Now, you missed my graduation, and yeah, I was pissed, but one apology was enough, twenty seven is overkill,” she explains with a kind smile. “And honestly, you think you went to New York because of a seizure? I mean really, that’s what we’re going with?”

“Yes,” Rory tells her with a firm nod, even though she knows it’s bull. “What other explanation is there?”

Lorelai can’t answer that, she just gives her a daughter a look that speaks volumes. Rory likes Jess. Lorelai has seen it coming from a mile away, as has Dean, she knows. It’s going to be messy and painful, and honestly, Lorelai could think of a hundred guys she would rather have her little girl date, but there is simply no accounting for taste. Besides, Christopher had a rep back in the day and Lorelai always knew he wasn’t as bad as some people thought. Maybe she was wrong about Jess. Lorelai doubted it, but she hoped.

“I wish he stayed in New York,” cries Rory, very real tears leaking from her eyes. “Except that’s a lie too because I don’t wish that. I want him here, Mom, and I... I want him. I like him so much, and I don’t know why,” she cries.

Lorelai just pulls her daughter into a tight hug, holding on for just as long as it takes. Being this age is never easy, even for girls that are smart enough not to get knocked up at sixteen!

* * *

Jess wants to yell. He wants to fight back as Uncle Luke verbally wails on him about his irresponsibility, about skipping back to town without warning, and about getting Rory into trouble with her mom. He wants to argue and yell and scream, but he doesn’t. Some of this he most definitely deserves anyway, and besides, it’s actually kind of nice that Luke cares enough to tell him how things are going to be. The guy wants to look out for him, and as much as that rubs Jess up the wrong way a not small part of the time, at least he knows he cares. It’s more than Jess can say about his mother.

“Are you done?” he asks when it seems the rant is finally over, along with all the new ground rules Jess must now abide by.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” said Luke snippily. “You have anything to say for yourself?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Jess echoes in the exact same tone of voice with a half a smile that he can’t help. “Thanks.”

Luke looks momentarily stunned by the sound of such a word from his nephew.

“Y’know, for not throwing me back on the bus to New York. For all that this place is, it’s better than the alternative,” Jess shrugs, like it’s nothing.

It’s not. They both know what he means, even if neither is really willing to say so. Luke knows Jess came back here because Rory visited and he realised maybe he had a chance with her now. At the same time, Luke gets the feeling he’s grown on the kid too, much like Jess had grown on him. Underneath the teenage rebellion crap, he really isn’t so bad.

“Get some sleep,” he tells Jess then, gesturing towards the bed.

He nods once and heads in that direction until Luke calls him back, asking what the bag under his arm is carrying.

“What, this?” he asks, smirking in that way he knows bugs his uncle. “This is Belinda,” he says, the only explanation he’s willing to give apparently.

Luke stands there staring, his hands on his hips, as he shakes his head and mutters;

“I’m never gonna understand that kid.”

_To Be Continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

It’s seven in the morning and Lorelai hasn’t had her coffee yet. The person knocking on her door has a death wish, she’s pretty certain on that before she ever gets there. When she gets to opening said door, she’s doubly sure this guy wants to die by her hand. The reason her little girl has a broken wrist, as well as the reason that same precious baby has been crying into the night, and here he is in the flesh.

“Huh. Of all the gin joints...” she mutters as she faces Jess with a forced smile. “What can I do for you, Mariano?”

“Nice to see you too, Ms Gilmore,” he tells her over-politely and with the sarcastic

smirk to match. “Is, er, Rory around?” he asks then, hands behind his back still.

Lorelai is pretty sure he’s hiding something there and she would really like to ask what it is, but she won’t. It’s none of her business after all. What is her business is her daughter and what Jess wants with her at seven in the morning.

“She’s sleeping,” she says eventually, unsure if that’s actually true but running with it. “Y’know, like any sane teenager would do?” she tells him, with a smart look of her own.

Jess nods once. He knows it’s probably a lie, because Rory is always up early. She told him before how she likes to be up and active at a decent hour, whether it’s to study or spend time with her mom or whatever. There was no way he was too early for her.

“What? You’re not the stay in bed type, because you strike me as the stay in bed type,” says Lorelai as she studies him, as if he were a frog she’s about to dissect, but Jess won’t flinch. “Y’know, requiring an air-raid siren and a tyre iron just to lever you out of the bed?”

“Sometimes,” he shrugs, shifting from foot to foot. “Depends if I have a good enough reason to get up.”

“And today you do,” she replies.

“Today I do,” he confirms in turn.

The stand off continues a moment longer, until Lorelai realises Jess is going nowhere and her lack of coffee is never going to help matters. Under duress, she invites the boy into her house and has him follow on to the kitchen,

“You want coffee?” she asks him as she pours her own cupful.

“No, thanks,” Jess replies, wandering around the kitchen table aimlessly, stopping near Rory’s door.

He thinks about knocking but soon changes his mind. If Lorelai wasn’t here, maybe, but not so long as she’s giving him the Mama Bear looks of warning. As if Dean wasn’t a big enough obstacle in the winning over Rory stakes. Lorelai was going to be an even tougher prospect. Jess had to have known that when he got on the bus to come back here; he did know, but somehow when Rory was there beside him, it had seemed worth it.

“So, back in Stars Hollow, huh?” says Lorelai, in some vain attempt to make polite conversation, for the sake of her daughter who may yet end up dating this kid.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies, making an effort not to flinch when the coffee pot slams back down into place.

“Okay, no more ma’am or Ms Gilmore, and none of your clever smirky-smirk stuff, ‘cause I’ve seen it all before,” she tells Jess then, turning around to look at him with her eyes mostly closed like she’s hanging onto civility by a thread, “Now I was angry at you before, like really, really angry. We’re talking PMS-ing She-Hulk anger here,” she explains, in the way that only a Gilmore can.

“And yet you’re not tossing me out a window, so I guess I’m supposed to ask why that is?” replies Jess smartly.

He shifts his stance as if readying for an actual physical battle somehow, though his hands remain behind his back, holding onto whatever he came in here with that Lorelai has yet to see. She tries not to wonder about that.

“Because of Rory,” she explains. “She went all the way to New York, blowing off school and me, to find you. You came back, to a place you claim to hate, for her,”

“I never said...”

“You didn’t have to” she interrupts before he can make whatever excuse is about to come out of his mouth - they both know it was going to be lame.

There’s a moment when they just stare at each other. They’ve reached an impasse here. He’s trying to be reasonable because she’s Rory’s mom and getting tossed out before he’s seen the girl does not appeal. She’s trying to keep her temper because this is the guy her daughter has fallen for, and as distasteful as that may be, she woudn’t hurt Rory for the whole world.

Some kind of understanding occurs in the strange collection of seconds that follows, and then the bedroom door opens half way.

“I heard voices...” says Rory, before her eyes go comically wide. “Jess? Oh God, I’ll be right back.”

The door slams and the cute sleep-rumpled face of the girl he came back for disappears in a flash of pink PJs and brown hair. Lorelai notices a smile on Jess’ face that she’s pretty sure he doesn’t even know he’s wearing. It’s genuine, maybe the first and only look of that kind she’s ever witnessed on him. The boy has it bad, equally as bad as Rory, she realises.

“I’ll be upstairs,” she says, already walking that way. “Help yourself to a soda, and mind your manners around my daughter,” she tells Jess as she backs towards the living room and the stairs.

“Yes, ma’am... Lorelai,” he amends off the look she gives him.

She’s gone in a second and Jess somehow feels even more uncomfortable than before. He’s been here before, several times in fact, but never like this. Jess always likes to think he’s in control, and he usually feels like he is. Rory is just about the one thing that can throw him off like this, and he loves it and hates it all at once.

“Hi.”

He suddenly hears her voice and spins to face her. She’s standing in the bedroom door, looking as awkward as he feels, but she’s here, and that’s what matters.

“Hey,” he replies, producing the bag from behind his back and handing it to her. “You, er... you forgot Belinda on the bus yesterday.”

“Oh, thanks!” she smiles brightly as she takes it from him, so very happy to have it after everything else that happened on the crazy day before. “But why didn’t you just give it to my mom?” she asks curiously, barely looking at him. “You knew it was for her...”

“Not my gift to give,” he shrugs like it’s nothing - it is definitely not nothing.

Rory knows what it took for him to come here and face her mom. There was so much anger and pain after the accident that led to Rory’s own broken wrist. She looks down at the cast now and remembers it all. The memories hurt more than the fracture ever did.

“That’s the only reason?” she asks, toeing the ground, daring once glance up when Jess is quiet too long.

“Yes,” he tells her, unable to keep the smirk of his lips when she looks his way and finds him closer than she thought. “Maybe,” he amends. “You okay?”

“Yes,” she nods once as her eyes meet his and something that Rory doesn’t feel safe in trying to understand crackles between her and Jess. “Thank you,” she adds politely, because what else she’s supposed to do, she has no idea at all.

“Okay, so I should probably go,” he says eventually, hiking one thumb over his shoulder, like neither of them understands what ‘go’ means.

“Okay,” Rory agrees, and yet neither of them moves. “Except you don’t have to go right now, if you don’t want to,” she flounders badly. “Um, you want coffee?”

Rory can’t breathe and she wishes she knew why. Then she realises she does know and the thought of it scares her to death. Still, sometimes you have to just go for what you want. She remembers her mom saying so, and she knows now what she has to lose if she doesn’t.

One second, Jess is opening his mouth to answer her coffee question, and the next Rory’s pressing her lips to his own. He’s startled, and so is she, even though she started this thing. She started it, he’s finishing it, and it feels good, and then they’re standing staring at each other like they don’t understand what they just did.

Of course, they know what it was. Jess knows it’s a revelation. Rory knows that as right as it felt, it was wrong to let it happen before she’s had a chance to talk to Dean, and the guilt comes crashing down on her head like a tidal wave.

Jess sees the light in Rory’s eyes darken, and he knows. She regrets it, or at the very least feels so bad he can’t stand to hear about it. He makes excuses and then he’s rushing for the door. Running is the coward’s way, but it’s all he’s got for now. Nothing ever felt like this before, and he’s losing control. That can’t be good, though it felt great a minute ago.

Inside the house, Rory has her hand to her mouth and tears in her eyes when Lorelai comes back to the kitchen.

“You okay, hon?” she asks, looking between Rory and the front door that isn’t quite closed - Jess appears to be gone.

“I got you a gift...” replies Rory vaguely, handing over the mystery package that her mom assumes Jess was carrying the whole time he was here.

Lorelai barely gets the record half out the bag and certainly gets no chance to say thank you before Rory is rushing into her room.

“I have to call Dean,” she yells over her shoulder, a nanosecond before the door slams shut.

Lorelai is beyond bemused, but when she looks down at the gift she’s been given she smiles. It’s perfect, which is much more than she can say for the latest situation she and her daughter are finding themselves in.

“Okay then,” she sighs, running her fingers over the signature across the album cover bearing The Go-Go’s picture and name. “Well, Belinda, I think this is gonna be a bumpy ride, but on this one I’m taking a leaf outta your book - my lips are sealed.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Please, Dean! I didn’t mean to...!”

“You know what, Rory? Don’t. Just, don’t!”

There are tears on her face as she chases her boyfriend to the door. Of course, he’s her ex-boyfriend now, and that alone makes Rory want to cry harder. She feels stupid and crazy for dumping a guy as sweet and kind as Dean. He hasn’t done anything wrong and she told him as much or tried to, but he didn’t really listen; he still won’t.

The second Rory admitted cutting school to go see Jess in New York, Dean knew they were done. Honestly, he’s known it for a while now, but he hoped against hope he was wrong. Now he knows for sure. It’s over. His girlfriend just gave up her title, and he knows who to blame.

“Dean, please!” she yells as she chases him out to the porch, grabbing at his arm as they descend the steps.

“What do you want from me, Rory?” he asks, tears in his own eyes that he wishes were easier to force back. “You made your choice, and that means we’re done. Did you want me to be okay with that? Because I’m not. I can’t be,” he shakes his head sadly. “I love you, Rory, and... and I just wish that you still loved me too.”

“I do,” she tells him desperately. “I mean, you mean a lot to me, but... I just...”

She’s struggling and it’s killing Dean to see it, even though he needs to be mad at her right now. He’s been dumped, it is not his job to hold her and comfort her when she cries, not anymore. Jess seems so desperate to step into his shoes, now he could have the chance, except that he’s not here to do it right now. Dean is at least grateful for small mercies. Seeing that might really break his heart for good.

Dean turns and walks away, and Rory hovers on the porch steps, trying to figure out if she should run after him or not. She just dumped the guy. As much as she cares, she knows she just can’t be with him anymore, because that’s not fair. At the same time, she has hurt Dean and it seems only right to say she’s sorry - even though she’s already done so at least eight times.

Rory stands and watches Dean go for a moment then rushes back inside. It’s easier not to see his back disappearing across the street and into town.

It can’t possibly have been planned, since Jess had no idea Rory had invited Dean over after school to tell him they were over. It is perhaps karma or just a cruel twist of fate that means that just as Dean approaches Luke’s diner, Jess steps out onto the sidewalk. The anger bubbling inside of Dean hits boiling point at the sight of his love rival, and he launches himself at an unsuspecting Jess, clocking him hard across the jaw - Jess goes down.

“Oh no!” Loreali gasps from across the street the moment she realises what is happening.

She had hoped to make it home from the inn just when Rory got done breaking up with Dean. She knew her daughter would need her support, because this was just tough on everybody. Right now it seemed toughest on Jess’ face. The boy rallies well, Lorelai would give him that much as she sees him scramble to his feet, looking somewhat dazed, and attempting to fight back at a very angry Dean. It can’t end well.

“No, no, no!” she starts to yell as she checks for traffic and runs as best she can in heels right into the fray. “Guys, stop!” she insists, helped by a couple of able-bodied bystanders that yank the two guys apart.

“Dean, go home!” Lorelai tells him, yelling into his tear stained face until his focus shifts from Jess to her. “Seriously, Dean. Go home,” she says more gently, sure now that he knows what she’s saying is for his own good.

Just as soon as Dean turns his back, Jess gets free and goes for the other guy. Lorelai is faster, thank goodness.

“No, that’s not helping!” she insists, pushing him back with firms hands on his chest. “Think of Rory!” she tells him loudly. “If you care for her as much as I think you do, you’ll stop and think about this!”

Jess stops, thinks, lets out a breath and allows Dean to keep walking. His jaw aches like hell and he tastes blood on his lip. Maybe now isn’t the best time, but the sucker’s gonna pay before long.

“Did you see that?” he asks Lorelai, still understandably angry. “I stepped out the door, didn’t say anything. Hell, I didn’t even know he was there, and I get this,” he points to his already swelling lip. “What the hell is that about?”

“The hell it’s about is a break up,” sighs Lorelai, encouraging Jess to come sit with her on the steps to the diner.

Going in seems like a bad plan. Luke is going to find out sooner or later, but later seems preferable to Lorelai and Jess too. She rifles in her purse, pulls out a wad of tissue and hands it over, advising him to get the blood off his face. Jess mutters what might be a thanks, but Lorelai isn’t so sure.

“You’re right, y’know. You probably didn’t deserve the punch, not really,” she admits. “But he’s mad. Rory just dumped him.”

“What does that have to do with me?” he asks, even though the answer to that question is blatantly obvious, not just to the two of them sat here now, but to the whole town.

“Come on now. We may not see eye to eye on much, and I have a list as long as both my arms of reasons why I could object to you dating my daughter, but a lack of smarts is not one of your problems,” says Lorelai with a pointed look.

Jess looks away.

“I never asked Rory to dump Dean,” he points out.

“No, but she likes you enough that she knew she had to do it.”

Jess tries not to react to that, but it doesn’t come easy. The punch in the face was kind of worth it if it meant he got the girl. Rory was like no other person he ever met, and yeah, he wanted her to break up with Dean and get with him already, he just wasn’t quite willing to say so. Now it seems she has gone and done it, and it’s got tall, dark, and Lurch so wound up that he took it out on Jess’ face. Makes smirking harder and yet Jess seems to manage.

“You okay, slugger?” Lorelai asks, tilting her head at an odd angle to see his face.

“I’ll live,” he assures her, almost managing a genuine smile.

Lorelai slaps him on the back as she stands and starts for home. She half expects Jess to follow or at least call behind her with a message for Rory. It goes in his favour that he does neither. Right now Rory is vulnerable, no doubt crying like the world is ending. She has made the right choice, Lorelai is sure of it, and yet she knows how guilty her darling daughter will be feeling right now. That’s why it comes as no surprise when she enters the house and immediately Rory flings herself into her arms, sobbing like a baby.

“Oh, sweetheart,” her mother sympathises, rubbing her back. “It’s all over now, and it’s gonna be okay.”

She receives no answer, except for more tears and convulsions. Lorelai manoeuvres to the couch and sits down with Rory leaning on her, crying still. It’s a good ten minutes before she’s calm enough for a conversation.

“It was awful,” she sniffs, “He looked so hurt.”

“And he got so mad,” Lorelai notes. “He slugged Jess in the street. For doing nothing more than appearing at the wrong moment, I might add,” she sighs. “It’s okay, don’t panic. Jess is fine, Dean is fine. I dealt with it. Threatened to go combination Buffy-Xena on their asses if they didn’t stand down, soldiers!”

Lorelai tries for a joke, but Rory can’t raise a smile. She didn’t really expect her to, but it was worth a shot. Breaking up with a person is always tough, even when you know it’s ultimately the right choice. When the person in question is your first love, first major relationship, it can be literally heart breaking.

“You gonna be okay, kid?” asks Lorelai, lifting Rory’s chin on her finger.

“I guess,” she nods slowly. “What other choice do I have?”

“That’s the spirit,” her mother smiles, pulling her baby close and kissing the top of her head. “I know it’s rough, I honestly do, but if you really like Jess... Well, you had to let Dean go, however much it hurt the both of you.”

“I know,” Rory agrees, letting out a long breath.

It does feel awful knowing how she’s hurt Dean, and how apparently Dean just went right out and hurt Jess. There’s a lot of guilt in Rory Gilmore’s stomach right now, and it’s making her feel positively sick, but at the same time, a weight is lifting from inside her chest; this awful gnawing feeling that has been swirling there since Luke first introduced her to his nephew. She’s free to be close to Jess now and not feel bad about it anymore. In the end, she knows this was the right choice for her, for them. Rory just wishes it didn’t hurt so bad in the meantime.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here endeth my first ever Gilmore Girls fic. I actually think it turned out pretty good... In fact, I’m already working on another one ;) To anyone who has given me feedback on this fic, thank you so much. New fandoms are scary and I really appreciate the support :)

“How you holding up, kid?” asks Lorelai in a whisper as they head back down the aisle behind a grinning Sookie and Jackson.

It’s been a heck of a day so far, all kinds of high emotions running free. Lorelai’s main concern ought to be her best friend’s happiness, but honestly, her attention is split between this wedding and her daughter’s welfare. The break up with Dean just three days ago hit her hard and yet she seems to be handling today pretty well.

“I’m okay,” Rory smiles bravely, though somewhere behind her eyes tears are waiting, Lorelai is sure.

She doesn’t ask anymore questions, just gives her little girl a brief one-armed hugged and hopes her plan for later is going to work out okay. They are headed for the reception at the inn next, complete with food, dancing and speeches. It is all very traditional and maybe a little over the top, but still much less extravagant than Sookie had once been planning. Lorelai still hasn’t quite gotten over her mother’s interference that almost ruined everything.

Within thirty minutes, they’re at the inn. Rory is listless and awkward, speaking politely to anyone who talks to her, trying to quickly remove herself from sympathy. Most people want to feel bad for her over the break up. A few want to know what happens next, if she’ll get back together with Dean, if she’ll be dating Jess next. Rory has no good answers, none she wants to give anyway. She removes herself from company as much as possible.

Rory seeks out Lorelai, but maid of honour is a big role and she’s buzzing around making sure everything is running smooth. Trying to keep Sookie out of the kitchen, and her parents happy. It’s a lot for her, and usually Rory would help, but honestly, she just can’t right now. She wants to run, but that seems childish. Going outside for just a little while should be okay, she thinks, just for a breath of fresh air and some space.

At the door, Rory literally runs into Luke.

“Hey,” she smiles up at him. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I wasn’t,” he confesses. “That is, Sookie said there was room and would we like to, and y’know, your mother had her persuasive attitude in play so...”

He’s rambling and they both know it, though only Luke knows why. Rory is left bemused until suddenly Luke makes a beeline for Lorelai across the reception area. Suddenly there’s another figure in the doorway and Rory just isn’t ready for it.

“Jess,” she says, momentarily stunned, not just because he’s here but because he’s actually dressed for the occasion.

“Wow,” he gasps, taking in the sight of her, and then he smiles. “You look beautiful.”

“Oh. Thank you,” Rory flounders, blushing profusely. “You look...”

“Like a dork?” says Jess, shifting uncomfortably in his suit.

It’d be cute if Rory wasn’t so self-conscious herself right now. Still, it’s wrong to let him think he looks bad at all. The truth is he looks so hot she’s not breathing right.

“No, you look... good,” she admits eventually, fingers lacing and unlacing.

Never were there two more awkward people, and they’re both very much aware of it. They wanted to be here for so long, in a place and time where they could be together, and yet taking the big step is as scary as anything has ever been. Jess clears his throat, gestures out the door.

“You wanna...?”

“Yes, please.”

They step outside and the fresh air feels good, as Rory predicted five minutes ago. Now she forgets what she was running from in there, only what she was headed towards. She had wanted to be alone, and now she’s very glad she isn’t.

“So... I’m sorry about Dean and the punching,” she says eventually as they walk along together. “I didn’t...”

“Not your fault,” Jess interrupts, glancing her way.

“Not yours either,” replies Rory, meeting his eyes more by accident than on purpose. “Er, my Mom, she said you didn’t even say anything and Dean just swung at you,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear, then hugging herself, not knowing where her arms or hands should be. “I never thought he was like that, but I guess there’s a lot of things I’ve been wrong about lately.”

“You think you were wrong to break up with him?” asks Jess, hands in his pockets, eyes anywhere but on her for a while.

He’s dreading the answer as much as he ever dreaded anything.

“No,” she smiles, because it’s nice to realise she’s not the only nervous one here. “I don’t think I was wrong to come find you in New York either. I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad you did too.”

They’ve stopped walking. Standing outside on the grass beyond the inn, just looking at each other, smiling like idiots. Rory isn’t sure what she’s supposed to say or do next, and she never saw Jess look so oddly unsure of himself. It’s strange, but comforting in a way, that he’s as lost as she is for now.

Rory finds her attention taken by music starting up, and Jess’ gaze follows her own. They peer in through the open French doors into the ballroom where Sookie and Jackson appear to be sharing their first dance as a married couple.

“Aaaaw, they look so happy,” Rory sighs, a huge smile filling her face.

Jess isn’t watching the newlyweds, only the girl beside him who never looked more beautiful. Well, maybe once when she showed up unexpectedly in New York...

“You wanna dance?”

He asks the question without really considering what he’s doing, such is the effect of Rory Gilmore. There is a genuine smirk on her lips now as she switches her attention to his face.

“You dance?”

“I can, I usually don’t,” he admits. “But since Luke forced me into this monkey suit... When in Rome?”

“Or more accurately, when in a monkey suit,” she smiles, putting her hand in the one he offers her.

They head inside and then the moment has arrived. Rory’s never danced like this with anyone but Dean, but she wants to. She wants to know what it’s like to be in Jess’ arms, to actually date this guy who has haunted her dreams so long. It’s awkward at first, when his hands find her waist and her arms rest stiffly around his neck. Then they relax into it, let the music move them in a perfectly pleasant slow dance. Still, Rory feels like it’s all a little too intense in its silence. She needs to be talking.

“So, are you happy you came back?” she asks, still feeling dazzled and overcome by the intensity of Jess’ gaze and his body this close to her own.

“I guess,” he shrugs like it’s no big deal but that annoyingly sexy smirk is back on his lips. “Stars Hollow has its perks,” he tells her.

Rory blushes, because she knows what that means. She ducks her head away a moment, and then when their gazes meet again, they’re just too close to let the moment slip away. She knows he’s going to kiss her and she never wanted it more. It feels different, strange but right somehow. Rory remembers somewhere in the middle that they’re in a room with a whole lot of other people, and this is Jess with his lips on hers. She pulls back suddenly, startling the both of them.

“I’m sorry,” he tells her, visibly hurt. “I thought...”

Rory’s lips are back on his in a second, cutting of whatever Jess might’ve said. He thought right and she wants him to know it, she just doesn’t have words. She ought to have known the kiss was coming, she did know, but she never expected the rush that came with it. On her own terms, she is prepared, and so they both get lost in their moment, and it feels good.

Neither Jess or Rory know they’re being watched. They should probably guess in a room stuffed full with people, but they don’t. Lorelai doesn’t really need to see her daughter getting familiar with the town pariah, but she knows how much Rory wants this relationship. Lorelai isn’t Jess’ biggest fan, maybe she never will be, but she’ll learn to deal for her little girl’s sake.

“Young love, huh?” she says aloud, gesturing across to the kissing couple.

Luke follows her pointer finger and sighs.

“Yeah. You think they’ll be okay?” he asks, leaning in near Lorelai’s ear. “I mean, I know I said Rory will be good for Jess, I know that, but he’s not... I hate to say this about family, but I wouldn’t exactly say he was good enough for our Rory.”

Lorelai smiles at his use of ‘our’ for her daughter. There are so many times she’s thought, she’s dreamt... but now is not the time. Maybe no time is the right time. She grabs Luke’s hand and pulls him onto the dancefloor without a word of explanation. They are dancing, she has decided, and though he opens his mouth to argue about it, in the end he keeps his silence. Lorelai fits in his arms perfectly, but Luke tries not to think about that.

“He came back for her,” she says of Jess then. “He didn’t go all Rocky on Dean’s butt when I reminded him Rory wouldn’t like it,” she adds with a look. “That’s something.”

Luke looks across at the young couple kissing and laughing together, then at Sookie and Jackson, so very much in love. Eventually his eyes return to Lorelai, and the sight of her there before him, her arms around him as they dance. It’s his favourite view of all.

“Yeah, that really is something.”


End file.
